the black, small stars and hearts she drew on my hand like tattoos
clothes cover most of my body
except from my hands, neck to my head
my figure is hidden away
I do not adjust to watching eyes as none can be found around me
wet wednesdays where students hurry to their classes, heads down
forced to bow before the rain that can’t be ignored
smoke comes from the newly boiled water as i make the sweet-smelling coffee for my mother
when the world of people falls quiet, i am not left alone
instead, the world of beings which move without voice keep me company
rain falls
trees and bushes sway with the wind
the leaves of our pumpkin garden flutter as raindrops hit
continuing to move yet remaining in place under a melancholic blanket of grey & white
maybe that’s why i find safety in them
unlike people, they do not stray away
they do not oppress the natural gifts of the world
slow waves of music drift towards me as i write all that I can sense
an attempt at reaching and keeping this memory in my clasps, to never let it go
this image and present that I am in, I want to stay like this forever.
my wish to rewind this time of gentleness
no blare of noises nor the disruption of human activity
in this present, i am at peace with myself and the world
my anger is quiet as it rests in slumber
my joy, far in the distance, like an actor
staying backstage as it knows now is not its cue
when neither my anger or joy come into the spotlight, apathy takes over
apathy is my comfort
i have denied this too many times but i cannot help it if this is what I grew with
each time the familiar face of heavy pain passes by me, the embrace of apathy has always been there
it is the closest thing to medicine
it does not heal me but it releases my heart from this invisible and evil fist which tightens around it
it does not heal me but it gathers my breath and leads it to flow back into my aching lungs
it does not heal me but it has always been there, soft touches which revive me when no one else could
when i was left on the ground, lying lifeless in the tears pooling around me
as i mourn the death of my innocence
poem by niña for her debut on the blog!!!!!!!!
🌃🌟🌧
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